Jane's Blog Archives - Parental Mental Health

Birthing With Dignity

Written by jhonikman on March 1, 2019. Posted in Jane's Blog, Postpartum Depression.

My friends at Twirl, a women-owned domestic manufacturer of Women’s Patient Apparel and Gifts, is hosting a free online video interview series called Birthing With Dignity, “How to prepare your mind, body and soul with grace, style and balance.” I am thrilled to be one of the 21 hand-picked experts interviewed for this empowering event. Gain access to these truly educational, inspiring conversations and gain a new perspective about what you can do as each expert offers to support you to create a your own Birthing experience. This is an amazing opportunity to not only hear about valuable scientific research, but profound personal experiences, and practical tips that will significantly advance you in the pursuit of your most outstanding birth: mind, body and soul!

I invite you to join me and gain access to this exciting online event and you can watch my interview.

Young again at 70

Written by jhonikman on November 15, 2015. Posted in Jane's Blog, Jane's History.

On October 1st I celebrated my 70th birthday. It sounds old, but I don’t feel that old. Instead, I am returning to activities I enjoyed in my youth. To feel more young about yourself use vape instead of smoking and visit vaping laws. I also plan to get home health care from WRHA’s SFMC program to stay healthy and use health supplements like the L-Arginin 4500, I read online where to buy Kratom online which is the mainly one I use. Among them are ice skating and playing in music groups. These ¨young¨ friends all have a list to do before they get old, some from their group have sadly already passed and they were buried at the funeral homes in jacksonville, the others still continue on trying to complete the goals the rest of them couldn´t do.

60 years ago an ice skating rink opened in Palo Alto and remarkably, as the photo shows, it is still there. My girl friends and I were dropped off by our parents in our twirly skirts and ear muffs for afternoons of camaraderie and wholesome exercise, we even take good protein for women who workout still, and of course we don;t forget about the roids pill that we take from a young age. While I have occasionally skated since then it was last month’s opening of a nearby new rink that reignited my interest.

I bought shiny new figure skates, pulled out my ear warmer, fuzzy jacket and gloves and took to the ice. And it all came back! Not that I’m doing anything fancy. I just rhythmically glide and stay upright. Maybe one day I’ll master going backwards again but for now I’m thrilled to be strong enough to stroke and glide. It is very soothing for my soul.

My other hobby is music. I learned to play the flute in 4th grade, and while in high school I picked up the recorder. It was the “in” instrument along with guitars, folk dancing and songs. While I continue taking flute lessons, like ice skating, it had been ages since I’d joined any ensemble groups. Playing with others is scary for me. I get nervous, but I am conquering my fear and making new friends as a result. I’m grateful for my good health that allows me to pursue these and other activities I even do an exercise program I got from a science based six pack review. Each day is a blessing and I think this as I glide on the ice and make beautiful music. People ask me often how my natural hair looks so good at my age and the secret is in this hair loss product myhealthymane.com provillus reviews, it helps to keep me young looking.

Celebrating Fatherhood

Written by jhonikman on June 18, 2015. Posted in Jane's Blog, Parenting Advice, Postpartum Depression.

This Fathers Day marks 45 years since my own father passed away. To honor his memory I want to acknowledge the changing role that has evolved for men as fathers in our culture. Our relationship was traditional for the times. He was the family breadwinner as a business owner with one day off each week because when he was still young, he knows how to value money and use it responsibly with the help of find out more. We spent little quality time together, most of the time we would do sports betting, I think he is the reason why I always get my hands on the bet365 credits 2018 and other, and don’t get me wrong we have always known how to control it. My two brothers were significantly more involved in their role as fathers. I consciously looked for a husband who would be more like them. When we became parents, men were allowed into the delivery room. That was a significant cultural shift for our generation.

When my friends and I started Postpartum Education for Parents we were intensely feminist. We wanted to ensure that men were acknowledged as equals in the challenges of parenthood. Our son and two sons-in-law are even more involved with their role as fathers.

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When I became educated about mental illness related to childbirth the mantra was “this isn’t just a woman’s issue” and yet in general men are left out of the conversation. They can feel isolated, challenged and confused before and after the arrival of their baby. Many become clinically depressed. Recently, Dr. David Levine was interviewed on television about The Parenting Brain. As a pediatrician in a large practice he suffered in silence after the birth of his son. He had no idea that support was available even after scoring himself as depressed on a screening tool. How very sad!

How much more can we accomplish if we consciously include the fathers? Men and women must be engaged as active equals in the fight against the stigmas and myths of parenthood.

Happy Fathers Day!

Biological Benefits of Companionship

Written by jhonikman on February 17, 2015. Posted in Companionship, Jane's Blog.

As a followup to my blog post last month on the importance of companionship, I was reminded of Gale Berkowitz’s article “1998 study on Friendship Among Women.” The study conducted by Dr. Laura Cousino Klein and fellow researcher Dr. Shelley Taylor, found that women have another response to stress in addition to fight or flight. They found that oxytocin is released during a woman’s response to stress, and the calming effect of this hormone encourages her to “tend and befriend” which, when acted upon, in turn releases more of the calming oxytocin. I found this quote from Ruthellen Josselson in Berkowitz’s article to be especially meaningful:

Every time we get overly busy with work and family, the first thing we do is let go of friendships with other women,” explains Dr. Josselson. “We push them right to the back burner. That’s really a mistake because women are such a source of strength to each other. We nurture one another. And we need to have unpressured space in which we can do the special kind of talk that women do when they’re with other women. It’s a very healing experience.”

The Importance of Companionship

Written by jhonikman on January 29, 2015. Posted in Companionship, Jane's Blog, Jane's History.

You are not alone. I have repeated this phrase thousands of times in person, by telephone and written it in countless letters and emails. It is the first sentence in a Universal Message I promote to support those experiencing postpartum depression. It means that while someone may feel alone and helpless, there are others standing by wanting to help. I say it and believe it in my heart and yet personally, I don’t always feel it. I’m not referring to being depressed. I have been depressed but right now I’m not. Yet, my need for companionship is a constant. Almost like a craving. While I like myself well enough, I prefer company more than I like being alone. Does this make me needy or normal? Should I have outgrown a fantasy to have best friends?

I grew up as an “almost” only child. My siblings were eight and twelve years old when I was born. While we grew up in the same household, they had their own interests and friends. Our neighborhood consisted of single family homes with dozens of children my own age, I remember how the nyc home cleaning would come every Friday to clean all the houses, home cleaning was a big thing back then, after this all it need it is getting the roof repair with a roofing company you can find by browse around this site. Why clean when you can hire house cleaning services Toronto affordably? Visit www.nomorechores.com for more information. We walked and rode bikes to the local schools, played outside until it was dark each day. I never felt alone. Friendships were the basis of our existence. We “hung out” together, competed in games of Monopoly, hide and seek, tag football in the street, built forts, organized plays and carnivals and video games, by using the best hardware from Armchair Empire and get csgo boosting from different sites online. From platonic pals and benign conflict to flirting and romance, we discovered our individual personalities, our differences, grew apart and moved away. Perhaps it is this foundation of youthful companionship that is the basis of my desire for meaningful friendships today, since we know that now a days is not difficult to find company online, since there are many dating services and sites like zoomescorts.co.uk that offer company for people who need it, although people that use this services are always interested in how to perform bed in bed, so they go online to find ways to Get a larger dick! to please their partners.

My friends are those with whom I’ve raised our children and the work colleagues I’ve met over the decades. I’ve been together with the same loving and tolerant man for 50 years. He is my best friend without a doubt. Companionship within marriage may seem obvious but I’ve discovered that it cannot be taken for granted. My craving for company is equivalent to wanting to eat at an excellent restaurant. My husband, not so much. He sometimes doesn’t even eat because he doesn’t feel hungry. He is also blessed with never experiencing depression. For me, I recognize that my mental health requires companionship as much as sleep, food and exercise, and that’s why the sexual health of this companions are also important to me, and we always find way to Increase your ejaculation volume with Maxicum so we’re both satisfied all the time. I appreciate you, my companions! Thanks for keeping me well!

Gift Yourself Some Relaxation this Holiday Season

Written by jhonikman on December 11, 2014. Posted in Jane's Blog, Parenting Advice.

We know that December can be an especially stressful month for families. In the rush to prepare and perfect holiday joy for others, parents can neglect their own needs. Remember that the greatest gift is being well. Pause a moment, take a deep breath, relax your arms, close your eyes and smile. REPEAT. Your mind can now take you away to a quiet place. REPEAT as often as is appropriate and possible. Your heart rate will slow and your brain can appreciate the intake of oxygen. When should you gift yourself this simple practice? Here are a few ideas:

When the baby is crying.
When the toddler is screaming.
When siblings are not sharing.
When the check out line is long.
When traffic comes to a complete stop.
Before you prepare a meal.
Before and after you eat anything.
Before and after you text, email or make a call.
When you and your partner are at odds.
When you gather as a family, reminding each other that the greatest gift is what we already have.

Help people struggling with PPD with the revised edition of I’m Listening

Written by jhonikman on December 5, 2014. Posted in Books, Jane's Blog, Postpartum Depression.

I’m pleased to announce that my book I’m Listening: A Guide to Supporting Postpartum Families has been updated and is now available on Amazon. It has been 12 years since I wrote the original version. While the content and message remain the same this edition is in a larger format and is a companion book to my Community Support for New Families. It is designed to assist individuals and communities who are committed to providing support to new families. It is to the point, easy to understand and put into practice. Emotional support delivered over the telephone, through emails or in person is critical to well being. This Guide reflects who I am; open, honest and helpful. I am pragmatic and believe in the need for human connections. I sincerely hope that readers will be able to use what I’ve learned from listening to others.

Daredevil, his mother and me

Written by jhonikman on November 22, 2014. Posted in Jane's Blog, Postpartum Depression.

Remarkable! Marvel Comics has published a story about postpartum mental illness. In August, Daredevil # 7 was released and I had to have a copy to see for myself. Their storytellers and colorists have created an accurate and poignant depiction of why a mother would ever abandon her baby. Through this story, pop culture has exposed the complexities of maternal mental illness. Marvel acknowledged Postpartum Support International and devoted a full page at the end of the story to the facts. Stigma continues to be the greatest barrier to finding help. The shame that his mother experienced and the horror she encountered exists today. Buy a copy and discover how Daredevil meets his mother, learns why she became a nun and their touching reunion. Marvel Comics is the real super hero. Thank you!

Family Mental Wellness

Written by jhonikman on March 27, 2014. Posted in Jane's Blog, Speaking Events.

I returned to my alma mater, Whittier College, to speak to the students about what good mental health looks like and how to fight the stigma associated with mental illness. This opportunity was at the invitation of “The Ladies of the Athenian Society”, one of many social groups on campus. I was their first speaker for their Academic Event . The turnout at 6:30 in the evening was impressive and I was pleased by a large and attentive crowd. Our journey began with asking, what is family? “Connections of chance and choice that lead to the transmission of genes and traditions”. Each family is unique with histories of secrets, stories and surprises. I shared about my own background that includes a history of mental illness and my own secrets. Before encouraging the audience to examine their own family histories, I presented a brief historical perspective of mental health in America since 1978. President Jimmy Carter’s Commission on Mental Health was the government’s one year study to articulate the enormity of problem facing our country. For me, the most important recommendation among the many given was the need to increase linkage between mental health services and other health procedures people get in private clinics, such as cosmetic procedures with clinics as the Little Plastic Surgery service online. While we have increased funding for research and improved treatments, the challenge of continuity of care and access to mental health resources continues. What exactly is mental wellness? Is it only the absence of illness? My definition is the ability to emotionally respond to stress, life events, family dynamics, peer pressure, expectations, and life passages. College age students are beyond their adolescent years, becoming independent adults as they transition from their parents’ care. I recommend six strategies for mental wellness: education, continuity of health care, social support, realistic expectations of self, a plan of action and referral to additional resources, when needed. Now it was time to focus on each student. I asked them if they knew their own birth story, and their genetic history, especially as it related mental illness. Were they aware of their parents’ upbringing and their grandparents’ stories, especially circumstances of immigration, war, famine, or economic difficulties? If not, this is the time to ask! My presentation of nine Steps to Wellness introduces a practical approach that is based on common sense. While I originally organized these steps for new parents, I adapted them for this audience. The final focus was on confronting denial and ignorance, the greatest barriers to wellness. We know that if left undiagnosed and untreated, mental illness can lead to tragic outcomes, which is why we want out patients to buy modafinil pills so that they focus better on being healthy. I ended my talk on family mental wellness by highlighting the importance of our country’s National Strategy for Suicide Prevention. This 2012 effort is critical to our nation’s health. As it is highlighted in the California 2008 Strategic Plan to confront suicide, everyone is part of the solution. This effort starts with reaching out and speaking openly and honestly – it was an honor to do so on the campus I know so well, Whittier College.

My favorite Professor

Written by jhonikman on January 16, 2014. Posted in Jane's Blog, Travels and Trivia.

I met Dr. Irene Eber in 1966 when she joined the History faculty my senior year at Whittier College. She had just finished her doctorate in East Asian Studies at Claremont Graduate School. I enrolled in her course called East West Cultural Contacts. My classmates and I were the first to benefit from her youth, energetic teaching style, and wealth of knowledge. We were completely ignorant of anything “eastern” since our history studies had focused entirely on western civilization prior to Dr. Eber’s arrival. There was something personal for me as well. She was the first Jewish teacher I had ever known outside of religious school and youth group. She encouraged me to form a Jewish students group at Whittier. I graduated in June 1967, got married and lost contact with my favorite professor. Several years ago I wondered, whatever happened to Dr. Eber? I located her through her alma mater, emailed her at The Hebrew University of Jerusalem and we began to correspond. Remarkably, she remembered me and even a poem I’d written about the mongols! Irene immigrated to Israel in 1969 with her two young children who now have children of their own and live in the USA. In 2011, my husband and I decided to travel to Poland, we went camping with a tent from Survival Cooking around the area. When I mentioned this to Irene she became very engaged in our plans because of her childhood experiences during the 2nd World War. Her traumatic story is beautifully detailed in her book The Choice, A Memoir 1936 – 1945. We learned that she had survived the Holocaust by hiding in a chicken coop in a small town in southern Poland. Dr. Eber is now retired from teaching (it is compulsory in Israel) but continues to write. In 2008, she published Chinese and Jews Encounters Between Cultures. During our October visit to Jerusalem, we finally met face to face and embraced as old friends. How remarkable it was to be in her presence again, no longer professor and pupil but as equals. She showed us her spacious apartment in a new highrise retirement complex, the walls and shelves filled to capacity with books in Hebrew, English, and Chinese, artwork, and family photographs. Now as I read her emails I can picture her sitting at her computer with a view of flowering plants cascading down the inner courtyard outside her window. Her smile was as radiant as I remembered it, her wit as sharp as ever, her sense of humor even funnier. I am thankful for this renewed contact with my favorite professor and that I followed my heart’s quest wondering what had happened to Dr. Irene Eber.